He Couldn’t Take a Hint
Posted on March 8th, 2010 by Cynthia D'Amour
Leave me alone.
Yesterday I flew home from Tampa.
- Got settled in the plane.
- Man next to me started the social chat.
- I shared I do leadership development.
He started to talk about himself…
- His job.
- A woman he knows who does what I do.
- And about Oscar night.
He launched into a description of his favorite movie.
- I gave all the clues that I didn’t care.
- I was grumpy getting on the plane.
- And he wasn’t helping my case.
He shifted to how his daughter-in-law is not sharp.
- His son was smart to not marry a professional woman.
- A non-driven woman who is silly.
- But knows her job is to stay home to raise children.
He then, knowing that I travel for a living, asked me if I have children.
- I couldn’t help myself.
- I said yes, I have one.
- (Raindrop counts, right?)
He sputtered in disgust, how old?
- So I shared - my baby was four and a half.
- Her dad stays home with her.
- And works on her skills every day. (Sit, stay, down!)
The guy got mad and made some crack about my warped world.
- Because of how I lived my life.
- According to what he thought he knew about me.
- (Was I terribly bad?)
The good news: he stopped talking to me - for the rest of the flight.
Makes me think of chapter leaders…Can you take a hint on when to press your members and when to hold?
Filed under: Savvy Leadership
Wow. I would have been extremely offended if that situation had happened to me. Who are others to judge on your life choices?
Regardless, I think your takeaway is perfect. Sometimes the signs of when to hold back are really obvious — like in your case — and sometimes they’re not. Plus, different cultures and groups of people have different social cues for situations like that, which can make knowing when to back off even more difficult. I guess I don’t have a clear answer, but hopefully leaders don’t come off as rude as that man.
You go girl! I am proud for how you handled it. I can’t say I would have done as well.
And …of course, Raindrop counts!
Shannon - totally agree with you about the impacts of different cultures and such. That said, the my clueless fellow traveler did not have that for an excuse.
Pam - Thanks. I was torn between becoming all out rude in my clues that I didn’t want to talk and making my Daddy proud. You never know who is listening - and who has a blog!
Raindrop agrees with you big time re counting!